Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
be right there i have to get my cape
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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