discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize