jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
