needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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