She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
