my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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