i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
