someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My cat gives me a boner
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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