i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
last night I used snow as a chaser
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
