If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
wow bdsm is so cute
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
