We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
