Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
