come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
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