I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
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