you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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