why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
