I'm drive I can fine osifer
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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