I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
