his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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