currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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