So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
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