the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
