and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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