You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
