my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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