Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
