Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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