Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
