i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
