I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
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I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
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Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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