the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Green mimosas i think yes
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
