if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
