I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
