there's paper in my vomit.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
