she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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