so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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