I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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