I just pynch a tree in the face
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
