you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
