This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
