you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Hippo gnu deer
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
