Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
