I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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