carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
