You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
