I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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