I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize