so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
