how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
