I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
