Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
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The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
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I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.