My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
