just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
