Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
