just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
