I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
