I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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