Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
