Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
