i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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