i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
