girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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